To Know Or Not?

Has there ever been something you knew, you wish you didn't and vice versa?

I wish I knew why I am the way I am. Does that make sense?

I guess this has all come about because of the people around me. I have always said that I have a lot of useless knowledge in my head. And I do. My brain holds on to things for some reason and I'm not sure why.

Sometimes I can't put the right words together, I am socially awkward (although most people don't believe it) and I am a huge klutz (slipping on the step this afternoon and falling and hurting myself makes that one pretty evident). These are just some signs of Aspergers, a high functioning form of autism.

I would have never thought of myself as having Aspergers until listening to a friend discuss her child and his diagnosis. It all seemed very familiar.

How as an adult to I go about finding out if maybe I do have Aspergers? It would possibly explain so much.

Not to sound like a freak because those closest to me know it anyway but I have a strange way of eating. One of the signs of Aspergers is patterns. There is something that I have always done when I eat. Now I am not one of those people who can not stand their food to touch or does not mix their food (although only certain foods do mix well). No, if I have 4 different things on my plate, I have toeat all of 1 before I can eat the next and so on and on. I'm not saying that means I have Apergers, it could just be another sign.

It is the way my mind works. And I am not sure what it all means, if anything at all.